Unless you’re dealing with some pretty deranged bullies, no one is going to mess with you when you’re rocking one of these metaphorically ironclad Chuck Norris T-shirts. That’s just the nature of rolling with Ground Chuck, ladies and gentlemen. The redheaded hero is best known for depicting Cordell Walker in Walker, Texas Ranger but younger generations know him for his Internet fame, which perpetuated through the Chuck Norris Facts meme. It is true that Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits; and that Chuck Norris did in fact kill two birds with one stone. That just comes with the territory when you’re the worlds manliest manly man. How tall is Chuck Norris, you ask? Tall enough that a superhero can leap a skyscraper in a single bound if he’s riding Norris piggyback.

Our funny Chuck Norris shirts display the martial arts hero in all his toughness and authority: mullet, bushy goatee and all. Classic images like Norris mid-roundhouse kick beneath the phrase “Well rounded” seamlessly blend the hero’s effortless combination of hardcore and hilarious. Other sidesplitting wording like “CHUCK NORRIS SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS,” appear above images of the serious-looking star, effectively stopping bullies and punks in their tracks. The tough guy also appears on a T-shirt that reads “The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris.” Plus, if you’re in the business of namedropping, you can get a “Chuck Norris was here” T-shirt that shows a shoe print right in your torso. These hero-worthy T-shirts come in sizes ranging from small to XXL and are printed on Norris-level cotton (soft and cozy yet remarkably durable) so you can wear them for years of Walker, Texas Ranger marathons.